I screwed the pooch last year. I drafted an elaborate Shame Statement from here to Baja, California and I made a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Okay, I lied. I made a wrong turn in Columbus, Ohio, likely when I needed a White Castle fix.
We don’t have any White Castles in Pittsburgh, okay!?!?
I don’t want to get into the ways in which I failed my Shame Statement. It would just be rehashing old wounds. Instead, I’m going to move on. I’m going to move on from 2016 and all that mess and my blown Shame Statement. 2017 is a new year. New Shame. New rules. No more Mr. Nice 007hertzrumble.
Let’s get back to the basics. 12+ movies. 12 months.
I’ve again consulted my handy dandy Entertainment Weekly Guide.
I’ve lost the benefit of free will this year due to my failings in 2016. For my first Shames, I’m taking the first unwatched entry in each genre and moving forward.
#1. The Magnificent Ambersons (Orson Welles, 1942) – #16 Drama
Honestly, I’ve never felt shame for not having seen The Magnificent Ambersons, but the book shames me. So I will oblige.
#2. Five Easy Pieces (Bob Rafelson, 1970) – #20 Drama
I’ve planned to watch Five Easy Pieces for years, decades. I’ve just never done. I’ve owned the film on DVD and I just recently upgraded to Blu-ray. That makes sense, right? I’ll watch it twice to make amends. I watched a few clips during film school and the sense of having seen it probably proves detrimental to the actual, legitimate watching.
#3. The Gold Rush (Charlie Chaplin, 1925) – #25 Comedy
Another film school casualty. In fact, I could probably blame film school for my woeful lack of Chaplin, whereas I’ve devoured both Keaton and Lloyd. Having seen dozens of individual moments from Chaplin films, my memory gets a little foggy regarding the ones I’ve actually watched start to finish.
#4. It’s a Gift (Norman C. McLeod, 1934) – #29 Comedy
The TCM Slapstick Fall class sold me on catching up on my W.C. Fields education. I’ll retitle this section of my Shame Statement “It’s a Shame!”
#5. The Black Pirate (Albert Parker, 1926) – #8 Action
Apparently I’m pretty well versed in Errol Flynn, so the Book has dictated that Douglas Fairbanks requires attention. So it goes.
#6. Ride the High Country (Sam Peckinpah, 1962) – #7 Western
There’s only so many times I can write about how I’m going to watch this movie. And I’ve hit that limit. It’s not like I don’t like Peckinpah. I REALLY LIKE PECKINPAH. And it’s not like I haven’t watched dozens of B-level Randolph Scott movies. BECAUSE I’VE WATCHED DOZENS OF B-LEVEL RANDOLPH SCOTT MOVIES.
#7. My Darling Clementine (John Ford, 1946) – #10 Western
I bought the Criterion Collection edition of My Darling Clementine for just such a Shameful occasion.
#8. The Postman Always Rings Twice (Tay Garnett, 1946) – #8 Mystery/Suspense
Postman currently resides on my DVR, which is handy.
#9. Rope (Alfred Hitchcock, 1948)
It’s a Hitchcock movie starring my favorite actor. SHAME. All caps.
#10. Lifeboat (Alfred Hitchcock, 1944)
I figure one good Hitchcock movie set in one spot deserves another.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer Friday the 13th
Truth time. I really don’t want to watch this movie. I’ve been told to watch this movie. I’ve read how amazing it is. Everyone seems to think this movie is the absolute bees knees. I’ll save this for October and my 31 Days of Horror Movie Marathon when maybe I can trick myself into watching this by putting it in the Tremors 4 case.
#12. Stop Making Sense (Jonathan Demme, 1986) – #15 Music
When one of my favorite bands has done a rockumentary and I haven’t watched it that’s pitch-perfect SHAME, friends.
#13. The Commitments (Alan Parker, 1991) – Personal Pick
This is a movie that fits squarely in the “I’m going to f’ing love this” box and I haven’t seen it. I know it might not be your particular ball and chain, but knowing I haven’t watched this weighs heavily on my conscious.
#14. Viva Las Vegas – (George Sidney, 1964) – Elvis Shame
1964 Elvis and Ann-Margret, directed by George Sidney. Time to fix this oversight.
Zatoichi Criterion Box (Various, 1964-1973)
I started this endeavor last year. I did not finish. Carry on, Zatoichi.
I’m determined to take on 2017 with everything I’ve got. No more Mr. Passive Resistance. I’m here to kick some Shame butt.